Journey of Hope, Faith, and Determination (Ep01)

Geri 0:02

I suddenly became paralyzed from the neck down, and nobody knew why. I was in the hospital for eight months, paralyzed for nearly a year, and on more than one occasion, my family was told to prepare to say goodbye to me. I was told there was no hope. 

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Hope isn't wishful thinking. In fact, it's not a wish at all. Hope is a confident expectation. So, where do we get that from? Join me. Let's talk about this. 

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Welcome to Hope Blvd. I'm Geri Carlson, and if there's one thing I've learned, it's this. There is always hope. Always. 

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If you're here today, chances are you're dealing with something heavy and maybe dealing with something in this season in your life that's just weighing you down. Or maybe you're waiting on an answer to prayer. Whatever the reason. I'm glad you're here. As some of you know, I've had a harrowing journey the past few years. As I share some of my stories and experiences, I do it with prayer that others will see hope, faith, and determination. We'll also have some lighthearted moments for sure, because I won't shy away from laughter, but I also don't shy away from talking about the hard stuff. You know, I was lying in the hospital bed for about eight months, paralyzed from the neck down for 11 months, but eight of those months, I was in a hospital bed. Um. And I thanked God daily. Not because I was paralyzed, of course, but you know, even I was even close to death. But I thanked God because I knew He was with me. I didn't always feel like a supernatural presence. In fact, I rarely did, to be honest. I could be confident though that God was there. How? You know, it's I've said it before. It's one of my favorite things about God, that he always keeps his promises. And so when he says in His Word that he'll be with me, I believe it. 

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There's a some practical takeaways and um kind of a faith take that I get. And in Scripture, my faith take today comes from Psalm 91, where the psalmist proclaims that Almighty God will always be with us during times of hardship. It says that God is our refuge. Well, the dictionary says that refuge is a condition of being safe or sheltered from pursuit, danger, or trouble. Well, that's comforting to me. While I was in the hospital, I did whatever I could to remain determined, to help myself by having a steadfast mindset. That's important. I knew I had to be proactive, to take action. I just wasn't sure how that would look going forward. But I knew I could pray and I could do my best to keep a healthy attitude. Believe me, that wasn't always easy. It was a daily challenge to stay focused. I kept hoping for a sign that I would get out of that bed and walk out of that hospital. Even the smallest step forward for me would be just a great glimmer of hope for the paralysis to fade, so that I could get my life back. One day led to over 200 more days and beyond. And as the months piled on, the paralysis continued to plague me until the end of the first year. And by that time, at least I was at home. 

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So what helped me keep my faith and remain hopeful? Oh, I've been asked that question a lot. One word from one person could change things. If someone provides hope, not just this pie- in -the- sky opinion, but something that is based in truth or some proven experience. Well, that one word can change everything. In my case, it came from my geneticist, the doctor who specializes in the very rare genetic blood disorder that I have. It's called Variegate Porphyria. It's really rare, and most doctors don't even know what it is. She told my family and me that she had no reason to believe that my paralysis wouldn't make a full recovery. I held on to those words with everything I had. I mean, she was expert. She had experience, and I believed her. 

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I held tight to my belief that God could turn this all around if it was his will to do so. And I knew that there was no guarantee. But at the very least, I knew God would work things out for good, even if it meant that I wouldn't get my healing this side of heaven. That might not sound as hopeful, but it was. Of course I wanted to be well and to walk again. I believed I would get better. But even if it meant I wouldn't walk again, I knew God would instill in me whatever I needed to persevere. And he did. That belief system was vitally important. That's where my faith was. For some reason, it was unshakable. And my, I tell you, I was grateful because it sustained me. It kept me going. I didn't have to like the position I was in. I just needed to trust that things would get better. With all that said, I remained determined, certainly hopeful, that I would walk again. 

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Today I'm happy to say I am walking with the help of a cane and some braces. I'm grateful for that. And I still pray and hope for more. My hands aren't as functional as I'd like. My balance is poor, and my legs, especially my feet, don't work well. But I'm finally out of that bed. Thank you, God! That's a big thing. That was my biggest prayer. And if I'm being transparent, I'm not content. I'm not yet where I want to be. I prayed for a full healing. I hoped for a full healing. I still do. I don't know if that healing is going to come this side of heaven. But that's what I envision when I pray. And I haven't given up. I know I'll be completely healed someday on earth or in heaven. But it's coming. 

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So hold on to things that are true or helpful. And hold on to hope. Focus on things for which you are grateful for and watch for ways that God shows up -- through a kind human, a strong support system, perhaps your family, and any small step forward. Remember, you are stronger than you know. I'm going to say it again. You are stronger than you know. Also, think of ways that you can be a blessing to others. Even if you just share a smile or a kind word, do it, even if you don't feel like it. Press through the pain and discomfort as best as you can. Studies show that focusing on others can boost your mood and keep you from wallowing in your own pain. I know that's true. 

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My story continues to unfold, and it's been a long, hard journey, especially the past couple of years. But I press on with great hope, focusing on ways I can help others. You know, I think about my family, who is my great support system. We all need one. It's vitally important. You'll hear me talk about that periodically, mentioning your support system. For me, it's my family. I don't know where I would be without my husband. Rob has been incredibly supportive, hardworking, and dedicated to taking care of me. I can do a lot of things on my own and I manage. But there are plenty of things that I cannot do without him. He is my caregiver, and I am beyond grateful. He is a blessing. My adult kids show up. I mean, all I have to do is pick up the phone. My son, who lives about 45 minutes away, if I ask him if he could do something, and listen, I try not to take advantage and I try to do without until I see him the next time. But if it's something that I really need, I'll call him and ask him, and he'll either be right here or say, Do you need this right now, or can it wait for a few hours? You know? Um, or I'll give him some time and say, Hey, this weekend, do you think, you know, you might have some time to come over and help me with this? And you would think that for people in your support system who have their own lives, who have small children to take care of, who have busy jobs, you would think they might say, Oh, gosh, mom, do you really need this right now? But I never hear that. That's what I hope for you. I hope for all of the listeners that you have that in your life. And if you don't, go build yourself a support system. You can do that. And I'll be talking about ways to do that... I mean, one of the ways you can do that is just think about someone who has been helpful to you or who has been very kind to you. Think of people that you might be able to approach and ask them, hey, would you mind meeting with me for coffee? Can we have a talk? And if they agree, and I hope that they do, you're going to know in time if that's a person you can trust. But if they meet with you for coffee -- and be grateful and let them know how much you appreciate their time and ask if maybe they might be willing to meet once a week just to talk about whatever. If for you, if it's helpful to talk about your profession, um, or maybe it's about family or relationships or whatever it is, and ask them if they can meet once a week. See if that's helpful. If it is, that's great. You've got that person as a support system and let them know that you count them as a support system. 

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And after time goes on and you've been able to solidify the fact that you can trust them. And maybe it's someone that , another person maybe to ask if they'd be willing to come over and help you prepare for dinner or something that you need help with. Maybe it's not a physical thing, maybe for you, maybe it's coming over and maybe meeting you to go for a walk once a week, or maybe it's three times a week. Whatever it is, start reaching out and asking. You need to ask people to help. You need to ask. And there's no shame in that. There is no shame in it. That's wisdom. So surround yourself with people that you trust or you think you can trust. If in time, if you learn that, you know, uh, they're not people that I can really count on, or they're not people that I can trust with being vulnerable, then okay, pull back and reach out to someone else. I hope that helps. 

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I know for me, my story continues to unfold, and and it's been a really long couple of years, but I know that I can press forward with great hope, focusing on ways that I can help others. And I hope that when you do reach out to others, that you reciprocate. Do whatever you can do to help them by being a great source of encouragement to them. Or bake a plate of cookies and bring it over, you know? But you can do things that can be helpful to others that are helping you. Reciprocate. It's important. That's what a relationship is. You're building a relationship. When they're helping you, you find ways to help them as well. I hope this is helpful. 

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Now, I should take a brief moment to say something about this new chapter in my life. I have a heart for people, especially when they're hurting or dealing with challenging life issues. That's the counselor and minister in me. But something you may not know. I have wanted to do a podcast since about oh, 2008. I've even hired a podcasting coach in 2013 and again in 2015. But some tough life issues kept getting in the way. The timing just never worked out. So I put it off. Until now. 

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Thanks for listening to my first episode of Hope Blvd. I'd love it if you subscribe to this podcast. And until our paths meet again, make it a great day for you and someone else. And remember, friends, there is always hope. Always . Bye for now. You can visit the show by going to GeriCarlson .com or HopeBlvd.org. Thanks, friends.