Please Don’t Dawdle: Building Resilience When You Can’t Get Up

Last week I became sick and something happened that had not happened since I returned home over two years ago. It set me back at first. The question was, for how long? In the spirit of transparency, I've decided to share this with you, friends. So let's do this. Welcome to Hope Blvd. I'm Geri Carlson. I am your host, and this is episode number 18. Thank you very much for tuning in. I really appreciate you. Thank you for being here. It means a lot to me. So, what happened? Well, as promised, I will be up front as much as it hurts. And I'll get into the story of what happened to me last week in just a moment. In the meantime, if you haven't taken my survey, I sure would love your input about our show. It's a quick one-minute survey, maybe two minutes if you want to elaborate, and you will find it at hopeblvd.org slash survey. All right, let's get started. A little over a week ago, I was really feeling the impact of a toothache that had intensified. Now to the point where I was taking Tylenol. Okay, other than some routine meds I take for generalized nerve pain, I don't typically take pain meds, even Tylenol. But this toothache was a real pain. The next morning, I still had this ever-loving toothache. But on top of that, I felt like I was starting to come down with something. Like I wasn't sure if it was related to the toothache, and then now this jaw pain that started. Um, yeah, I wasn't sure, but I what I just knew that I wasn't feeling well. I even had a low-grade fever, which is unusual for me. I almost never run fevers unless I'm really sick. So that should have been a clue. At noon, I had a Zoom meeting with some podcast friends that I really enjoy. And although I wasn't feeling well, I'd never miss this meeting. So I signed in, and when that was over, I had a quick 25-minute meeting with another friend. And by the time I was ending that call, I was really beginning to feel sick, achy, and pretty weak. I made my way to the bed and took my temperature. My fever was 103. I wondered if I had an abscess tooth and if that could be causing a fever. I didn't know if an abscess tooth typically will cause a fever that high, but I didn't know what was going on. So my entire jaw was still pretty sore. But I later decided that this felt like I was coming down with the flu. Anyway, I took a Tylenol and buried myself under the covers. Sick and tired, I took a nap. I woke up about 90 minutes later. I still felt poorly. I decided to get up and get a drink of water. I sat at the edge of the bed for probably about 20 or 30 seconds. When I went to stand up to get out of the bed, my feet slid out from under me. My legs were very weak and I wasn't able to stop the fall. I hit my head on the nightstand on my way down. Not the first time I've done that. A little deja vu from 2023. Lying there on the hardwood floor, I attempted to get up, but I had no strength in my legs, and the bed was just a little too high for me to pull myself up on. I couldn't even get up on my knees. I was very weak with the flu, I believe. I attempted once again to get up on my knees to try to pull myself up, but I just wasn't able to do it. It was really painful for my knees for one thing. At least my head didn't seem to be bleeding, but that was the least of my problems. I couldn't believe it. I have gone over two years without such a setback. How in the world did this happen? Well, I knew I was really weak and with a high fever, which again, unusual for me, but there I sat on the hardwood floor, my hips now starting to hurt me by this time. Rob was working, so he wasn't at home. I knew he was with a customer and I didn't want to interrupt that, but I was really hurting. I was having a hard time just sitting up. I was aching everywhere, but my hips were the most uncomfortable. I tried to reach for my phone, which was on top of the bed nearby me, but it was just out of reach. So it took me about, I don't know, maybe 20 minutes or a little more to finally get it. When I did, I texted Rob these three words. Please don't dawdle. I figured he should be ending his appointment shortly, and I wanted him to come straight home. Around an hour later, the phone rang. It was Rob. He asked, What is going on? He said he knew something was up. I told him I fell and couldn't get up. And he said he would get home as quickly as possible. He was about an hour away. I'm sure he probably exceeded the speed limit. I was counting the minutes. When he walked in and saw me, he was so compassionate, as he always is. He attempted to get me up on his own, but I told him I didn't want him to try because he has a bad back. Besides, I was dead weight by this point. I knew my legs had no strength, and I mean, even less than usual, especially with this fever and the weakness from the flu, I was just pretty shaky. Let me pause here a moment just to say that it would have been very easy to fall into a trap of unhelpful negative thinking. I could be sitting there thinking, why me? Everything seems to fall on me. Why can't I catch a break? Why is this happening to me? I must be cursed. But I want to encourage you, friends, not to succumb to those negative thoughts, even when a crisis hits. I know this takes practice, but this is when it's important to hit the pause button, as I like to say to my clients. Imagine yourself hitting a pause button and give yourself just 10 seconds to think. Just think. Don't be so quick to react. Those other thoughts are not helpful at all. Have you ever had negative thoughts that seem to just come on too quickly? I began to think, what is helpful? What can I replace those automatic negative thoughts with? Here's what I did. I prayed for starters, and I thought to myself, I've gotten through harder things before. I can do this. I thought, Rob is on his way, and I know this is painful. I'm breathing through it. Inhale, long exhale. I was praying that God would give me the strength to endure as he always does. And hear me when I say I fully acknowledge the reality of this moment. I didn't deny my pain or how scary the situation was. I didn't know if my legs would strengthen again, even just enough to pass through this. I didn't know anything for sure. I could only hope. I thought about how I had been running a high fever and I'd been weak. So I was believing when I feel better, I'll strengthen, at least some. I mean, this really stinks right now, but this will get better. Okay, let me get back to that in just a minute. This is a good time for me to share my faith take. You know, Romans 8.28, many of us have heard this many times before. Romans 8.28 promises that all things will work together for good for those who love God and are called according to his purpose. That verse doesn't say that I will get off that hardwood floor and find relief for my aching hips, my sore and shaking body, and high fever. And it didn't say when I would be able to get off that floor. There was no guarantee that I would get rescued and everything would be glorious, or that I would experience a miracle and have my neurological issues reversed. And I know that. I have studied and continue to grow in understanding of the character of God. That's what I hope you'll hear in my story and in scripture. God's promises to me about healing will be fulfilled. And it may mean waiting till I reach heaven, but God always keeps his promises to me and to you. The situation didn't ruin my faith. I don't get mad at God. I understand some people do, and he's a big enough God to hear you out on that. But at the same time, it's important to remember and expect that bad, even awful things are going to happen in life. And I don't have to like it. Because we live in this corrupt world with some evildoers and with Satan the enemy, life can be hard. We all know that. I don't want to succumb to the flesh, which can also be an enemy. Here's the thing. I've learned and I've come to accept that I don't want to respond in the natural. It does mean I know where to go when I need answers and wisdom and hope. I'm not living for this world, as you've heard me say in episodes 15 and 16. I live for eternity. I am heaven-bound, friends, and I hope you are too. I hope that's where your focus is. If I imagine myself living the past 60 years on this planet, and I compare that to the rest of eternity, the thousands or millions of years and more that is to come, then these 60 years don't seem so long. We won't have suffering in eternity, in paradise, as long as we seek and receive Jesus as our Lord, regardless of your story, friends, he is waiting to hear from you. Please don't dawdle. So how did I finally get up off that hardwood floor? Rob called a friend to ask for assistance, but it went to voicemail. He called another and the same thing. I don't mind telling you that as I sat there, my legs were very weak and numb, as they often are anyway, on any day of the week, but more so at this point after I had fallen. And I wondered if once they got me up off the floor, if I would be able to walk again with a cane, or if I was going to have to revert to that walker, or worse, the wheelchair. I mean, I had questions come into my mind, like, how did I actually fall? And why are my legs suddenly so weak? And will they become strong enough? And will I be able to walk when they finally get me up? It almost felt like my legs were paralyzed. They were so weak and numb. But I knew that wasn't the case. I've been there, complete paralysis, so I know what that felt like or didn't feel like. And this time I was hoping, praying my legs would hold me up once again. I certainly had doubts that wanted to intrude my mind because my legs were so numb at this point, I could hardly feel them. Yeah, I had doubts, which is natural, but I fought it. I was holding out for God's answer to all of this, and I chose to focus on me walking and getting up off that floor for starters. Finally, Rob called our friend and neighbor, Greg. Thankfully, he answered. Rob asked, Are you home? Greg said, No, I'm in town. And Rob told him, Never mind, thinking he would just find someone else to call. But Greg asked, What's going on? Rob told him I had fallen and I was on the floor. Greg said, I'll be there in five minutes. And he was. He was able to come over and help Rob get me off the floor and sit me back on that bed. Oh, I had been on that floor for two and a half hours. I was hurting, and I was also still sick and running a high fever. I was grateful to finally get off that floor. It took me a little while to see if I could straighten out my legs and see if I could take some steps. So after a little bit, Rob brought me the walker. He helped me to stand and he walked behind me till I got to our nearby bathroom. I was still very weak, and Rob had to hold on to me as I walked. Then I walked into our beloved sunroom and I sat in the recliner. But after a short while, I got up and took some more steps with the walker just to make sure my legs were still working. They were weak, but I would be okay. Just to remind you, I don't like using the walker, and I really resented having to use it last week, even if only for a day or two. Still, I'm grateful I didn't have to succumb to the wheelchair. After about a day and a half of using the walker, I kicked that thing to the curb. Well, actually, to the corner of the bedroom, and I returned to my cane. I'm not all that steady on my cane. I never was, but I insist on using it because I feel like I get a little weaker when I depend too much on the walker. There are times I really should use the walker or even the wheelchair, but it's sort of a mindset thing for me. I don't know if any of you have ever had that kind of experience. It was a series of events. At one point, I needed the wheelchair, and then I progressed to the walker, and then finally progressed to the cane. I definitely don't want to go backwards. My neurologist says I shouldn't think of it that way. I should think of it as tools, and that sometimes the walker is the smarter option. He's right. A hundred percent. I know that intellectually, but something in my brain doesn't want me to rest in taking what might seem like the easier route. For one thing, to use a walker or a wheelchair causes Rob more work. He never complains, but I'm very cognizant of the fact that this whole ordeal, the issues with my health, this journey I'm on, affects Rob tremendously. Since 2023, life became harder for him too. It's both of us together. We're a team. And thankfully, he graciously takes that on with a beautiful spirit and heart. And I'm incredibly grateful for that. Is this a rough chapter in your life? If you're interested in working with me, I can help you find ways to move forward. I'm not only a graduate level counselor and a masterlife coach, I teach my clients the very skills I used to endure and overcome my pain and suffering. Like when I was paralyzed and any other challenge that came my way. So I know what works. These skills are battle-tested. If you'd like to connect with me, just go to my website at hopeblvd.org and request a free 15-minute call to briefly share with me about your issue and to see if I'd be a good fit for you. There's more info on the website, and I will leave a link in the show notes. Thank you so much for listening, friends. If this episode has been helpful or encouraging, please share it with someone. And if you're not already on my email list, how come? I would love to connect with you. You can subscribe at hopeblvd.org and I'll send you my newsletter. It's a brief three-minute read, it's quick, it's easy, and it's always an uplifting and encouraging message. So go to hopeblvd.org and sign up, friends. I'd love to connect with you. In the meantime, make it a great day for you and someone else. And remember, friends, there is always hope. Always. Bye for now.